Monday, December 12, 2011

Miss him...

In three words I can sum up everything
I've learned about life: it goes on.
--Robert Frost

Dad's been gone for nearly eight years now, but I remember the night he passed away like it was yesterday. The fact that I didn't invite him out for lunch that day, like I planned. What I had eaten for dinner. The phone call that forever changed my life...

Life, as I knew it, was gone in the blink of an eye.

I have constant reminders of him. My hands...that look so much like his...only tinier. And my smile...I always see him in it. Then, there are those times I see an older man with sparkling blue eyes. And it's like he's here with me...letting me know what he might have looked like a few years older, with some grays in his hair. I catch myself wanting to hug that man, whoever he might be...would that be so wrong?

I know it was God's plan to take him home...I wish so many days, though, that I could have had a little more time with him. It's selfish to want that...but I wonder often what our relationship would have been two adults.

There are certain things in life a dad is supposed to be there for...weddings, babies, things you can't fix around the house...the times you're scared about life, and just need a comforting hug.

The feeling of loss continues to lessen as the years pass. I know that it won't ever go away, though. My dad is a part of me...of the woman I have become. His voice is still in my head...and my heart...




  1. Miss him a lot. Comforting knowing he is in a better place.

  2. I'm so sorry, Hilary. Wish I could have met him...sounds like he was an awesome man.

  3. Oh Hilary, I remember that day, too, even though we had never
    met. I walked into the house to babysit and found the mom in tears, having just received a phone call that her dad's best friend had died. She told me about the two beautiful young daughters he left behind. My heart hurt for you then and does again now. I'm so sorry! Praying God will preserve those special memories and continue to give you those special glimpses of your dad shining through in your life now! ~ Londa

  4. Hilary, you know I loved your dad. He spent many evenings at my house (I think he knew I was lonely at that time) and made my life better with our conversations. He was a wonderful man and loved his family SO MUCH. You girls and your mom were his whole world. I feel blessed that he was my friend. I will always miss him. Love to you, your sister, and your mom. Joni